izzes: kids these days with their euro direction and one vision
your virginity (Taken with instagram)
averypotterurl: neildegrassetyson: Who is the most attractive US president of all time? It’s not the gorgeous Barack Obama or the zesty Bill Clinton or the tragically beautiful John F. Kennedy or either of the Roosevelts or even Baberaham Lincoln THAT’S RIGHT FRIENDS IT’S RUTHERFORD B. HAYES #MORE LIKE RUTHERFORD B. HEEEEEEYYYYYYY HOW /YOU/ DOIN’
toadlyoko: So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era.
cybercum: the word pizza is a sext in itself
yourfriendg00: cute nicknames for your significant other: old sport old sport old sport old sport old sport old sport old sport
shedisenchants: shedisenchants: so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night you guys think I’m joking??
harryflack: remember when esteban was calling the dead but got put on hold
hotwhiteguy: hotwhiteguy: i lost my number, can you give me yours no no no not your phone number your credit card number
escapistaz: If we’re friends, there’s a 106% chance that I’m always petrified that you secretly hate me.
wheeeeeeeeeeew: This is the best thing on the internet.
nbcemployee: the uglier the snapchat, the closer the friendship
Anonymous asked: hiiiii i miss you <3 ~Madeleine
whiskey-memories: bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me
beerito: pamper your girlfriend. cover her with diapers